"Humor is mankind's greatest blessing."
Mark Twain

"Humor is reason gone mad."
Groucho Marx

"Sometimes the road less traveled is less traveled for a reason"
 Jerry Seinfeld

"Money is better than poverty, if only for financial reasons."
 Woody Allen

"Eternity is really long, especially near the end"
 Woody Allen

"A joke is a very serious thing."
Winston Churchill

"Humor is something that thrives between man's aspirations and his limitations. There is more logic in humor than in anything else. Because, you see, humor is truth."
Victor Borge

"There is no defense against adverse fortune which is so effectual as an habitual sense of humor."
Thomas W. Higginson

"You can turn painful situations around through laughter. If you can find humor in anything,
even poverty, you can survive it."
Bill Cosby

"A word to the wise ain't necessary - it's the stupid ones that need the advice."
Bill Cosby

The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese. 
~Author Unknown

Acting is all about honesty. If you can fake that, you've got it made.
George Burns

"I'm an excellent housekeeper. Every time I get a divorce, I keep the house."
Zsa Zsa Gabor

"Do you know what it means to come home at night to a woman who'll give you a little love, a little affection, a little tenderness? It means you're in the wrong house."
George Burns

"Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I'm not sure about the universe."
Albert Einstein

"An optimist will tell you the glass is half-full; the pessimist, half-empty; and the engineer will tell you the glass is twice the size it needs to be"
Anonymous

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